Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
