I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
