goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you win again, gameday.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
