I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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