I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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