I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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