it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
