i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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