we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
