They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The maid of honor just puked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
