Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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