I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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