are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
