You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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