ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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