you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
