i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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