North Korea, Best Korea!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
