i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
