Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
