Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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