Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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(813): View more from Florida

i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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(906): View more from Michigan

cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go

(319): View more from Iowa

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS

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(760): View more from California

I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for

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