Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The best revenge is premature balding
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
