And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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