Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
