Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
