why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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