Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
