32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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