we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
