i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize