So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
