i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm both gender and math confused
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
