Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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