I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
