Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my phone needs a breathalizer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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