was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
