I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize