Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
