I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
