Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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