he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
