This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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