Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
