also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
