The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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