The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm too high and old for this...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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