I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
