dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Actions speak louder than pants.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think my moral compass just broke
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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