in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dick very happy bro
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
