Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
