Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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