Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
