i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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