'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
