thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
