I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
