Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
