He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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