she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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