some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Who died my cat blue again?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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