thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
