Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
These tits shall not be calmed
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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