Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
