there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
