More tranny stories later!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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